“Big data” and “analytics” are among the most overhyped and abused terms in today’s IT lexicon. Despite widespread use for almost a decade, their precise meanings remain mysterious and fluid. It is beyond doubt that the volume of data being generated and gathered has been growing exponentially and will continue to do so, intuitively validating the big moniker. However, other vital characteristics of today’s data, such as structure, transience, and — most disturbingly — meaning and value, remain highly ambiguous. Analytics also remains troublingly vague, as it is prefixed with adjectives ranging from operational to predictive.